Every so often, I am blessed with an opportunity to be on the other side of the microphone as a guest on someone else’s podcast. And recently, Ryan Sullivan invited me to do just that on his podcast, Fatherhood on Fire. Here’s what he had to say to describe our conversation together.
Ryan brings the heat! We talk about Servant Leadership at home. The challenges he had to overcome to be the leader he wants to be at home. We dive deep into the social media post that caused me to reach out to Ryan as a guest.
Ryan’s oldest daughter, in her senior year, was informed she was going to play on the JV Water Polo. After the initial anger subsided she made the very mature decision to step back from water polo and focus on swimming which she is stronger at and expects to finish well at. She took the extra step to sit down individually with each of her coaches and explain her thought process around her decision and express her gratitude to them. Both coaches said it was the first time a student-athlete had ever had such a conversation with them. What we can take away from this as fathers: Give your children time to work through those situations instead of forcing them to make a decision when we want them to make it.
It happened because their household celebrates effort over outcomes. As a result, they’re able to identify the leading indicators for why things are or are not going the way we hoped them to. By them as parents demonstrating their commitment to reward and punish based on effort, not outcomes allows their kids to test the waters and figure these things out instead of the fear of “I did or did not make the team.” Laying that foundation as parents have produced really great results in times like this.
AND that means as adults in the house we need to set the same standards for ourselves.
At the beginning of 2019, for the first time in more than 10 years, Ryan decided not to write down any goals. He chose instead to focus on who he wanted to be as a person, based on the identity below, and focus on the habits that lead to the fulfillment of that identity.
10 Habits:
- Read Everyday- First thing in the morning: Bible, current events, books that make him a better Christian, husband, father, coach, or consultant.
- Work out 5 days a week – focus first on health, then improvement, then achievement.
- Sleep a minimum of 7 hours a night.
- Meditate 10 minutes per week.
- Make good food choices – limit sugar, junk food, and alcohol.
- Date wife twice per month.
- Invest or save a minimum amount of money each month.
- Give a minimum amount of money each month.
- Create high-value content 5 days per week for business owners and salespeople.
- Invest in myself through personal and professional development.
Personal Identity:
- Christian
- Husband
- Father
- Friend
- Athlete
- Pastor
- Business Leader
Give it a listen and let me know what you think.
You can follow Fatherhood on Fire below:
Instagram – @fire_fatherhood
Direct links to podcast:
Spotify – http://bit.ly/spotify-exsellence
Apple – http://bit.ly/apple-exsellence
YouTube – Exsellence Mindset Channel
Connect with me:
LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/rjmsalespro
Instagram – @rjmsalepro
Twitter @rjmsalespro
Web – https://ryanjamesmiller.com/
Podcast: Play in new window | Download