How do I find my calling?

Where the question came from

We spent a whole Aligned Man call on calling this month. It is the start of the third phase, Purposeful in Pursuit, and it is the question I hear more than almost any other. Men reach out to me all the time and say, "I don't know what I'm called to do."

I understand why. The way the world talks about calling, it sounds like it needs to be big and massive. You are waiting for a voice. A vision. A mountaintop moment where it all comes to you, big and beautiful. So men wait, and wait, and wait. Asking God to speak is not a bad thing to do. But most of the time the answer is already sitting in front of you.

Calling is confirmed, not found

God makes no mistakes. He is not going to call you to something and then build you for something else. So look at three places:

• Your gifts. What feels effortless to you? What is so second nature that you would say, of course, this is just who I am? Maybe God put that in you for a reason. And do not be shy about naming it. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above" (James 1:17, ESV). Saying "God has blessed me with this" is not bragging. It is giving Him the credit.
• Your wounds. What you have been through often points to what you are called to do. God used the worst moment in history, the cross, for a perfect and specific purpose. Don't you think He will use your wounds too? It is the story of Joseph, of Paul, of Peter.
• Your burdens. What breaks your heart? What wrong do you look at and think, this needs to be righted, I can't stop thinking about it? Everybody agrees some things are heartbreaking. A burden is when God puts one on you in a way you cannot shake.

Stop looking elsewhere when it is right in front of you. You don't need to be told what to do. Start reading your own life and you will see the calling being revealed.

You are not lazy. You are disconnected.

Some men decide the reason they can't figure out their calling is that they are lazy. So they grind harder, and then harder again. That is not it. You don't need more effort. You need to figure out what God is actually calling you to so you can slot into it. Most of us need to do less, not more.

Your career may just be the vehicle

I used to get this all the time in one-to-one coaching. "I hate my job. I want to start a business. I want to make an impact." Why can't you make an impact putting numbers into a spreadsheet? Is there something specific you want to build, or are you just dissatisfied with where you are?

You can fulfill your calling in almost any role. Some of us will live it out through our business. Others will live it out in spite of our business, and that is fine. High performers are the most likely to make their career their calling, because that is where they see results. That is the performance trap. So here is the question I ask a lot of guys: if the business went away tomorrow, could you still fulfill your calling? Or would you suddenly have no meaning and no purpose?

You need the next step, not the whole journey

This is the season I am living in. I used to be the big vision guy, planning years out. I'm 48 now and I don't have a vision for 49. People ask what I want to do in my business next year and I tell them I need to figure out what I am doing tomorrow. I believe God has shut off my ability to see that far so I will focus on what is right in front of me.

Jesus was interruptible. Even on His way to a healing, He stopped and asked who touched Him. We get so excited about the five-year plan that we can't be interrupted by the person in front of us today.

Here is how calling usually unfolds. God gives you clarity on your gifts, your wounds and your burdens. You live that out every day. You take a step, and you see the next step. Then the next one. Often the next step is the one you have been avoiding: the hard conversation, the awkward moment, the uncomfortable season. God did not need to lead Israel through the sea. He did it to build their trust on the way to where He had already promised to take them.

Calling is a long obedience. I'm a good endurance athlete. I'm a terrible endurance Christian, because I want it now. Show me everything. He doesn't. He shows you the next step.

God does not waste a wound

Every man has a chapter he would love to cut from his story. A lot of us think the bad ones we created disqualify us. They don't. The worst decision I was on the verge of making turned, four days later, into the best moment of my life: coming to faith in Christ. I would not be here without it.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28, ESV). Joseph said it to the brothers who sold him: "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good" (Genesis 50:20, ESV). Your wound is not what makes you stronger or weaker. It shapes you. Used the right way, it shapes you for far more than you think.

This is what we mean by Clear Calling. Not a five-year plan. Knowing what God built you for, and knowing your next step.

The one move for today

Take a sheet of paper and make three short lists: your gifts, your wounds, your burdens. Look for where they overlap. Then don't write out the whole map. All you need to write is your next step. Do that one this week.