How to Build Yourself Before You Build the Business

Machine transcribed from the episode audio, lightly cleaned. Timestamps are approximate.

0:00
Are you building from a strong and settled foundation? Or are you building on top of the fracture that you haven't faced yet? God is my witness. If you have a strong foundation to stand on, everything from there can be built in the most incredible ways possible. Everything that you dream of can be accomplished. Every single thing that God has put into your heart can be realized. And if you're not where you want to be, are you willing to lay the necessary groundwork? So you can go to the places that you want to go and achieve the things you want to achieve. Look, I want to be so honest with every single one of you guys about something that I'm walking through right now.

0:46
And trust me when I say this isn't the first time either. My business is not where I want it to be, where it's supposed to be, where I hope it would be. And that gap between where it is and where I want it to be. Yes, intentionally I did this. It produces so much anxiety, frustration, stress. Yeah, just so many internal challenges. And here's what I've noticed about myself in the middle of all of it, is when my circumstances get shaky, everything that isn't anchored to something deeper,

1:36
it starts shaking with it. my confidence starts to get a little bit weary, my sense of direction, clarity. I mean, and even sometimes the sense of whether I'm enough. I mean, if you've read my book, you know that, wounds, you know that for a long time, I wrestled with the sense of worth and value. And yeah, that just, that rears its ugly head sometimes. What I've realized though is, is that it's not a business problem. It's not a here to here problem. It's an identity issue. The men that I know that are most vulnerable

2:22
to that type of erosion, they're typically not weak men. Like, I don't, I don't think I'm a weak man. And I'm not just talking about physically, I'm talking about mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Like I've worked really hard to build up a lot of strength in every single one of those areas. The problem sometimes though, is these are high capacity men who have built their sense of self on what they produce and what they provide. And even what their results look like. When the results get uncertain, everything else gets uncertain. I mean, I was just talking to one of my clients yesterday.

3:09
This guy in five years in the industry he's in has gone from zero to one of the top producers in his industry. And I mean, he's killing it. He is talking to high level executives. He's doing multimillion dollar deals. He's making a significantly healthy six figure income. And yet he was telling me that just this last week, he was dealing with massive bouts of debilitating anxiety. So much so that he's like, whatever, I just need to call a psychiatrist. And whether or not that was the right answer for him, it came back to the same issue, which is he has long conditioned himself to pin his value based on his output.

4:02
And as I was talking to him, I said, I get it because I'm just like you. I do the same things. And then I started to talk to him. And this is what I want to share with you guys. And it's this, what kept me, what has kept me moving forward. It's not strategy. Yes. I mean, I've got some really good tools in the tool belt. I've got some really good ideas and structures and frameworks that I work through, but it's not those things. It's not a better morning routine. As a matter of fact, my client, he says to me, yeah, you know, so I started getting up at 5 a.m. every day, feeling like if I just got my day going, and I'm like, dude, that's not it either.

4:49
What I've realized is that it's something that God has done for me over the years of surrendering the parts of my identity that I was most reluctant to let go of. That is what's kept me moving forward. You see, God, by way of the Spirit, has given me this confidence that's no longer tied to my circumstances, though I continue to get sucked back into it from time to time. I've been given the sense of peace that honestly, it doesn't make sense, especially given what I'm looking at right now. I mean, I'm looking at my business not on the trajectory I want it to be on, one of my daughters getting ready to get married,

5:36
another one of my daughters getting ready to go to college, kind of a desire for my wife that I want to fulfill, of buying a home, and some other financial goals that we have. I'm looking at all of those things. I should be crazy. I should be back in the corner of my office like I was back in 2019, pulled up, having an all-out anxiety attack. Yet, though I bounce around a little bit, I just feel the sense of peace. And I feel the sense of peace because I feel grounded. I mean, the pressure doesn't go away. Like, the circumstances don't change. But underneath all of those things, there is something that doesn't move.

6:23
Look, here's the reality of the matter. Most men never build the foundation necessary to be unshakable. They build the business first. They build the income first. They build the reputation first. And then they wonder why all of that keeps shaking when things get hard, when things don't go the way that they want them to go. That is a problem. One of the problems that I am most passionate about solving. But not just for me. It's for the men in our community. It's for the men that follow me. It's for the men in my life.

7:09
You see, because a man who knows who he is, before he does anything, that man is dangerous in the best way possible. So I have a question for you. Where are you right now? Are you building from a strong and settled foundation? Or are you building on top of the fracture that you haven't faced yet? I want to know the answer to that question. Because I have some ways to solve that problem. We've created an incredible solution and a framework that I believe can help guide you. But you have to go back to answering the question as to whether or not you have solid foundation to stand on.

7:55
Because if you don't, everything that you're doing right now is basically worthless. But if telling you this right now is God is my witness, if you have a strong foundation to stand on, everything from there can be built in the most incredible ways possible. Everything that you dream of can be accomplished. Every single thing that God has put into your heart can be realized. So again, where are you right now? And if you're not where you want to be, are you willing to lay the necessary groundwork so you can go to the places that you want to go and achieve the things you want to achieve? Keep following along. I've got a lot more in store for you

8:40
as it relates to this topic. We've got some really cool things coming. But for now, I really just want you to ponder that.